Tag Archives: Me Raqsam

A letter to nobody: Revel in her perfect imperfections

Dearest Nobody!

Let me be very honest about it and let me say it all loud and clear!

You defy your feelings. You deny your love. You hoodwink yourself let alone the entire universe. And it is rather alarming.

You are half dead and it pains me. You live but you are living in denial. And I find it cringeworthy.

You keep trying to find an escape. In vain. From yourself. From every object around you.

From everything that has life. From everything that lacks it.

I know you love her. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be around. Pursuing her. Despite failing at it badly.

Because you are sure that she is a meaningful pursuit rather than just another disposable pleasure.

And you are afraid. For, she is a pursuit that never consummates. She won’t last forever.

You might as well, my dearest one, for her may just be a passing fancy.

Things change. Priorities change. Separation ensues. Distances grow.

Inevitability of change plays its part. Forgetfulness takes its toll.

But remember! Just because something doesn’t last forever doesn’t mean it loses it luster and diminishes its worth. And you totally understand that.

People part and they move on. That’s life. People come and people go, in and out of your life. That’s how it works. Because life goes on, you know, right?

Years lapse by. However, deep within, there is still a part of you that she cohabits.

Memories become your solace. And memories haunt too.

That is exactly when you understand the value of memory.

That is exactly when you understand the idea of immortality of events.

You understand eternity.

When in love, you are in no condition to distinguish between the right and wrong.

And that’s totally human.

And you find no flaws but only virtue.

You overlook all the scars and merely see perfection and grace.

She casts every ray of awareness upon your love for her, the moment you lay your eyes on her.

She casts spells over your mind even during the moments when she is out of sight.

She may not be the perfect personification of beauty. But she is beautiful nevertheless. In her own way.

Like you are saying now and you have said it before.

Nothing looks prettier than her pretty pointed nose and seductively smoggy eyes and sugary smiling lips and slender silvery neck.

And she is full of whims.

You never knew before meeting her that the whims could be as delightful and exciting too.

Imagine loving someone to the level that her caprice starts to sound cute and seem comely.

She is a wild creature.

And there is something beautiful about her wildness, right?

And she is weak. And she is vulnerable.

And she doesn’t even wear false pretensions of power and resilience.

And she is dangerously honest about her vulnerabilities.

And she is a free soul. Isn’t that lovely?

What floors you most is her completeness, and her craving for freedom and her longing for perfection.

Times have left its marks on her mind and scars over her soul.

Know that she was destroyed before.

She needs pampering. Treat her with care  and kindness and vigilance.

If she decides to be with you my dearest one, she will do it with all her entirety. Know this now and know this well.

Know that she will have to step over her fears and insecurities to be with you.

And fears don’t fade away in a wink of an eye.

They take time. Give her time.

If she loves you and respects you and entrusts you with an opportunity, treasure it with all your heart and soul.

Don’t ever let her down.

Know her. Read from the pages of her life.

Spend every moment with her as if it were your first. And last.

Be present. Physically and emotionally. And read.

She comes with an emotional baggage. Share it.

Strive to stimulate her thoughts and her emotions.

Plunge into her soul like you will dive into an ocean.

Know this that her love and existence will heal every part of you.

But remember this. Don’t try to fix her. Ever.

She doesn’t need fixing.

She is complete with all her pieces – which could, might as well, be scattered.

Just don’t try to mend her.

Don’t ever treat her like she were a broken woman.

Let her past scars and marks be!

You should just not be the one to inflict more upon her.

She would want to undress her soul in front of you and be utterly herself.

She wants you to look at her like every woman would want to be looked at!

Give her all of you so she could give you all of her.

Revel in her perfect imperfections.

Build her up. Uplift her.

And enjoy the art of reciprocation.

Talk to her about the stars and moon and sun and oceans and entire galaxies and all that is beautiful out there.

Treat her right. Respect her. Protect her.

Allow her the privilege of privacy. Trust her.

Appreciate her.

And last but not the least, give her all of you so she could give you all of her.

Revel in her perfect imperfections…

Yours truly

‘Someone out there’

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I want you in your entirety

“Love has nothing to do with keeping those you love around”, they say. Dare I disagree?

It has a lot to do with that I swear. For, the moments spent with the loved one around are magical. The delightful company is beyond paranormal, mystic.

You wish you lose sense of all. And flow with the stream, getting carried away in your emotions losing all control, driven away with the wind to no man’s land where there is no one to judge and no one to grudge. And all that is left and all that matters is all of them in their entirety.

Where consequences become inconsequential and the sense no longer makes any sense and what you end up attaining is insane level ecstasy.

Notwithstanding you’re not a moth meant to burn and blaze, still after all this, all you crave is getting completely consumed into the flame, and cease to exist. And begin to coexist.

You wish times could stand by and places could fly. Since your souls already take off for a journey high over vales and places you have never been to before.

You wish you could dissolve into them and transform into one single entity like the moonlight dissolves into the sea and ends up in an absolute majesty.

Possessing someone, they say is not a fair deal.

However, when you possess me and I possess you and the sense of possession even for mere mortal second, however short-lived it may be is unimaginably euphoric and inexplicably ecstatic and exotic.

I have had the taste of obsession, relinquished myself of drinking on the idea of sustaining reputation, since it’s not just about infatuation.

It definitely is about something beyond any realms of obsession, madness or just the corporal fascination.

The sensations you invoke have been invoked by none, ever. And it’s not certainly a passing fancy. What fortifies the passion is the reason that sensations from the barter of the minds, thoughts and dreams emanate. And a lot more that words fail to elucidate.

I possessed for some moments and got possessed. I really did. And in your entire entirety.

I definitely had you in all your entirety. Your fullness and halfness. Your parts and pieces. The sides you hide from yourself and the sides you hide behind. I have had you in all your entirety and without having to touch you for even once.

A woman of multi shades that you are and I have had you in all your colors. Your goodness and your depravity. Your madness and sanity. Your lowliness and vanity. Your laughter and anger. Your grace and grandeur. Your whims and your certainty.

I have had you in all your entirety. And I wanted it to last. And I wanted it bad.

I have had you in all your entirety. I have had you in your breaks and scars, parts you have left behind and pieces you have yet to find.

I put you apart into the pieces and wrap myself up in them having knit the unbreakable knot and keep you within once and for all. Until all that is left around of you is me, and all that is left around of me is you.

I have traced the thoughts of your heart and the pulses of your mind and pull them out thread by thread until all that is left is you and me.

I have had all of you all at once and then pieces of you scattered into days after you’re gone so that there is always a piece of you that is part of me. I have had you in all your entirety.

I want you in all your entirety. I want you in all… and I want it bad… and I want it to last… and I…


Snapshots: Do You Deserve what You Desire

Few snapshots from one of the articles “Do you deserve what you desire?” authored by Mr. Anwar Iqbal published on May 24, 2014 on Dawn.com

Dance of Fire

Dance of Fire

Without you, the City suffocates me

Without you, the City suffocates me

What I cannot find is what I desire

What I cannot find is what I desire

The dance, the ecstasy, the pain

 The dance, the ecstasy, the pain

Sar-e-bazaar me raqsam

Sar-e-bazaar me raqsam