Category Archives: Uncategorized

Waiting is painful so is forgetting

They say, waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which one to do is the worst kind of suffering. It’s a double edged sword.

Waiting to meet someone and waiting after one has known they ain’t meeting ever. The latter begets despair and gloom and sadness while the former begets hope.

But Hosseini slaps right in one’s face by making a point that, “Love, like it’s accomplice hope, is a treacherous illusion.“

It’s not the separation that sears our souls. It’s the apprehension that, like a shadow, accompanies detachment.

The seclusion that tags along. A peculiar sadness that consumes our mortal existence. It starts to take its toll.

Then, time does its taking and brings distances. The sight of the smiles that soothes our souls becomes less frequent. The smoky light emanating from smoggy eyes becomes a luxury hard so find.

The apprehensions that the cuts and features of the loved one will gradually start fading and forgetting from our minds as the time shall pass and it’s traumatising.

Years pass by and the apprehension that the time would come that you’ll be unable to perceive the shape of your love as to how they appeared and you’ll have to make an effort to recall the face and eyes and neck and gait and demeanour and voice.

They are still all over your mind and inside your heart but times are cruel and memories will start to erase itself.

Leading to the ‘world forgetting, by the world forgot’ and ‘eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’ phenomenon.

And you grow accustomed to their absence and come to terms with the reality and the miseries and mishaps and misfortunes and pain over the years caused by their absence subsides.

You dread the thought of losing and forgetting the tone and pitch of their voice. The gestures they make the postures they flaut.

The anecdotes they share and the lame but funny jokes they crack. Their cackles and childish laughter. Their rage and retribution. Their love, friendship and affection. Whims and multi-shades. Life’s all charms personified.

And this uncertainty and misfortunes make me afraid. And they rightly say when they say I am deathly horrified of almosts. Of coming so very close to where I want to be in life that I can almost taste it, almost touch it, then falling just a little short.

And you want everything or nothing at all. And you want them in their entirety; their parts and pieces, their hurt and scars, parts they show and parts they hide.

It’s never certain what the future brings and how it leaves its marks and erases some scars and impressions. Until then, all we have is a little time.

And it’s the most valuable thing we own. And let’s make the most of it. And cherish it. And live it to our fullest.

And let’s for once set our limits aside and just live and love and do it beautifully in all its entirety.

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Revel in her perfect imperfections

Blank Verse: Revel in her Perfect Imperfections

When in love, you are in no condition to distinguish between the right and wrong.

And that’s totally human.

And you find no flaws but only virtue.

You overlook all the scars and merely see perfection and grace.

She casts every ray of awareness upon your love for her, the moment you lay your eyes on her.

She casts spells over your mind even during the moments when she is out of sight.

She may not be the perfect personification of beauty. But she is beautiful nevertheless. In her own way.

Like you are saying now and you have said it before.

Nothing looks prettier than her pretty pointed nose and seductively smoggy eyes and sugary smiling lips and slender silvery neck.

And she is full of whims.

You never knew before meeting her that the whims could be as delightful and exciting too.

Imagine loving someone to the level that her caprice starts to sound cute and seem comely.

She is a wild creature.

And there is something beautiful about her wildness, right?

And she is weak. And she is vulnerable.

And she doesn’t even wear false pretensions of power and resilience.

And she is dangerously honest about her vulnerabilities.

And she is a free soul. Isn’t that lovely?

What floors you most is her completeness, and her craving for freedom and her longing for perfection.

Times have left its marks on her mind and scars over her soul.

Know that she was destroyed before.

She needs pampering. Treat her with care  and kindness and vigilance.

If she decides to be with you my dearest one, she will do it with all her entirety. Know this now and know this well.

Know that she will have to step over her fears and insecurities to be with you.

And fears don’t fade away in a wink of an eye.

They take time. Give her time.

If she loves you and respects you and entrusts you with an opportunity, treasure it with all your heart and soul.

Don’t ever let her down.

Know her. Read from the pages of her life.

Spend every moment with her as if it were your first. And last.

Be present. Physically and emotionally. And read.

She comes with an emotional baggage. Share it.

Strive to stimulate her thoughts and her emotions.

Plunge into her soul like you will dive into an ocean.

Know this that her love and existence will heal every part of you.

But remember this. Don’t try to fix her. Ever.

She doesn’t need fixing.

She is complete with all her pieces – which could, might as well, be scattered.

Just don’t try to mend her.

Don’t ever treat her like she were a broken woman.

Let her past scars and marks be!

You should just not be the one to inflict more upon her.

She would want to undress her soul in front of you and be utterly herself.

She wants you to look at her like every woman would want to be looked at!

Give her all of you so she could give you all of her.

Revel in her perfect imperfections.

Build her up. Uplift her.

And enjoy the art of reciprocation.

Talk to her about the stars and moon and sun and oceans and entire galaxies and all that is beautiful out there.

Treat her right. Respect her. Protect her.

Allow her the privilege of privacy. Trust her.

Appreciate her.

And last but not the least, give her all of you so she could give you all of her.

Revel in her perfect imperfections…


A letter to nobody: Revel in her perfect imperfections

Dearest Nobody!

Let me be very honest about it and let me say it all loud and clear!

You defy your feelings. You deny your love. You hoodwink yourself let alone the entire universe. And it is rather alarming.

You are half dead and it pains me. You live but you are living in denial. And I find it cringeworthy.

You keep trying to find an escape. In vain. From yourself. From every object around you.

From everything that has life. From everything that lacks it.

I know you love her. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be around. Pursuing her. Despite failing at it badly.

Because you are sure that she is a meaningful pursuit rather than just another disposable pleasure.

And you are afraid. For, she is a pursuit that never consummates. She won’t last forever.

You might as well, my dearest one, for her may just be a passing fancy.

Things change. Priorities change. Separation ensues. Distances grow.

Inevitability of change plays its part. Forgetfulness takes its toll.

But remember! Just because something doesn’t last forever doesn’t mean it loses it luster and diminishes its worth. And you totally understand that.

People part and they move on. That’s life. People come and people go, in and out of your life. That’s how it works. Because life goes on, you know, right?

Years lapse by. However, deep within, there is still a part of you that she cohabits.

Memories become your solace. And memories haunt too.

That is exactly when you understand the value of memory.

That is exactly when you understand the idea of immortality of events.

You understand eternity.

When in love, you are in no condition to distinguish between the right and wrong.

And that’s totally human.

And you find no flaws but only virtue.

You overlook all the scars and merely see perfection and grace.

She casts every ray of awareness upon your love for her, the moment you lay your eyes on her.

She casts spells over your mind even during the moments when she is out of sight.

She may not be the perfect personification of beauty. But she is beautiful nevertheless. In her own way.

Like you are saying now and you have said it before.

Nothing looks prettier than her pretty pointed nose and seductively smoggy eyes and sugary smiling lips and slender silvery neck.

And she is full of whims.

You never knew before meeting her that the whims could be as delightful and exciting too.

Imagine loving someone to the level that her caprice starts to sound cute and seem comely.

She is a wild creature.

And there is something beautiful about her wildness, right?

And she is weak. And she is vulnerable.

And she doesn’t even wear false pretensions of power and resilience.

And she is dangerously honest about her vulnerabilities.

And she is a free soul. Isn’t that lovely?

What floors you most is her completeness, and her craving for freedom and her longing for perfection.

Times have left its marks on her mind and scars over her soul.

Know that she was destroyed before.

She needs pampering. Treat her with care  and kindness and vigilance.

If she decides to be with you my dearest one, she will do it with all her entirety. Know this now and know this well.

Know that she will have to step over her fears and insecurities to be with you.

And fears don’t fade away in a wink of an eye.

They take time. Give her time.

If she loves you and respects you and entrusts you with an opportunity, treasure it with all your heart and soul.

Don’t ever let her down.

Know her. Read from the pages of her life.

Spend every moment with her as if it were your first. And last.

Be present. Physically and emotionally. And read.

She comes with an emotional baggage. Share it.

Strive to stimulate her thoughts and her emotions.

Plunge into her soul like you will dive into an ocean.

Know this that her love and existence will heal every part of you.

But remember this. Don’t try to fix her. Ever.

She doesn’t need fixing.

She is complete with all her pieces – which could, might as well, be scattered.

Just don’t try to mend her.

Don’t ever treat her like she were a broken woman.

Let her past scars and marks be!

You should just not be the one to inflict more upon her.

She would want to undress her soul in front of you and be utterly herself.

She wants you to look at her like every woman would want to be looked at!

Give her all of you so she could give you all of her.

Revel in her perfect imperfections.

Build her up. Uplift her.

And enjoy the art of reciprocation.

Talk to her about the stars and moon and sun and oceans and entire galaxies and all that is beautiful out there.

Treat her right. Respect her. Protect her.

Allow her the privilege of privacy. Trust her.

Appreciate her.

And last but not the least, give her all of you so she could give you all of her.

Revel in her perfect imperfections…

Yours truly

‘Someone out there’


Ramz رمز – an enigma 

Ramz ۔ رمز yeah right, that’s her name. Ramz is a Public Policy expert. She writes on topics pertaining to health and education policy.

She is the beauty personified; pretty eyes, pointed nose, and chubby cheeks. But that’s not what she is popular in her circle for.

She inspires people with her unique intellect, soft and composed tone, and sophisticated demeanour. Her impressive mannerism makes her a model of magnanimity and grace.

Ramz has been waiting for her date over that table.

The love of her life who she has been dating for three years. She plans to have babies with him. A girl and two boys. Girl first, of course.

Wedding date is being fixed. October 13th this month.

Soon after the wedding, the newly-wed couple leaves for their honeymoon to Maldives. For four nights and five days. With two days transit stay in Dubai.

She has bought her wedding dress. A golden colour costume with silver-studded beads over the red dupatta.

While taking yet another sip of her tea, she turns to look at her watch to see it’s 5.30 and realises he is late. The date was at 5.00.

He is late. That’s totally unlike him. He hates people who get late for no reason.

She gets worried. Takes her cellphone and makes a call. He doesn’t respond. She wonders, it must have been traffic. For, he makes sure every time they meet each other, that he is there to welcome her. Well before time.

She gets nervous. Takes her cellphone again and calls him. He doesn’t respond, again. 

To cope up with her rising worry and anxiety, Ramz opens an app and starts scrolling down her timeline.

Ramz has no idea. She is totally unaware.

Ramz is oblivious of the fact while glaring at the entrance and waiting for him, that on route from his office to the restaurant, a car met a deadly accident.

A racing bus hit the car. And boom. The young man inside the car bled, lost consciousness and was rushed to the nearby hospital.

The man succumbed to the wounds he never wanted and declared dead. An unforeseen and sudden death that he never deserved. Destiny wanted him dead.

And the poor girl Ramz, there she is… sitting lonely at the goddamn unfortunate table at one end of the restaurant.

Still scrolling through her timeline. Anticipating his arrival. Waiting for him. In vain. Unaware. 

Taking her last sip of the tea that is no longer hot. Oblivious of the fact that she has been waiting a never-ending wait. She hasn’t had even the slightest idea that he drove from his office to never finish his journey. 

He left to see her but she would never see him again. Until eternity. He shall never come.

Fate never favoured his return. Fate never wanted her to see him again.

Ramz waits anyway…

  1. **inspired by a sketch/doodle made by a friend.

Idea of impermanence 

Thousands of years ago, somebody came up with the idea of impermanence of the beauty and inevitability of change.

I’m pretty sure they had just been dumped.

I had a long time to consider the value of memory, and the idea that just because something doesn’t last forever doesn’t mean its worth is diminished.

Maybe it was just a rationalization – easier on the soul than mourning what might have been – the life unlived. I honestly don’t know, but I chose to believe in memory. 

I chose to believe in her. I chose to believe that the bond was never broken and that we carried each other in our hearts.

As a secret singularity. She made me a writer. She made me a man. 

There would be other loves. Even great loves. But she was right, only one remained perfect.

And as a result, it never quite left me alone. I wondered if it remained perfect for her as well. Or if I was just holding onto an idea.

Some questions have to go unanswered. But you are never more than 20 ft away from someone you know. Or someone you were meant to know.

I don’t know if I will ever see her again. I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Or a bad one.

But I will promise you this. Your favourite story, whatever it might be, was written for one reader. 
— via 5 to 7


Claim to Life and Destiny

It is a message. In a world where humans control nothing; it, sure, is a message that somehow we will claim our share in this life.

Humans, bereft of control over their destinies and life events , have nothing but a tenuous chance to pursue happiness. Ephemeral in nature, our desires often turn out to be the farthest realities one could fancy. In such scenarios, we find recourse no where. It seems that there is no abode to seek refuge.

And do You know how it feels when one has no where to go?

7.2 billion people, zillion houses, in numerous cafes, bars and hotels, millions of taxi stands, uncountable bridges and, yet, not a single door to bang! To seek help!

Unfathomable sufferings endured under those bridges, while travelling via taxis, in hotels and bars, in houses among those billions of people, connect us all. But still we have no one to turn to!

Have You ever let it disturb Your stream of thought or pattern of consciousness; how does it feel when one has no where to go?

I reckon it never happened. Why would it? You have this earth and sky, sun and moon, 7.2 billion people, and everything they claim to be theirs, at your disposal. Waiting, cajoling and lingering for Your decree, kindness or fate.

But some of us are now ready to defy the odds.

This lady who once paid her electricity bill by letting her master violate her body and spirit, is not willing to endure it again.

You have made Your choice. Her fate is evident. There is another extravagant electricity bill lying in her courtyard.

However, just like You, she has made her choice too. No matter how hard Your fate tries and how strict the order of divinity is, she has decided for herself this time.

In the face of Your plan,
she committed suicide.

And there is this bulb, which she lighted after Crucifixion of her soul, to send You the message that somehow we would claim our share in our own lives, let alone at the cost of death!

–By a Friend**


Damsel in distress

Serene environs.

Silence broken by the gushing water

falling down the rocks…

amidst green, secluded space,

stands the damsel in distress…

Unperturbed by the chaos in the vicinity,

un-amused by all the beauty at her doorsteps.

Fighting some futile tireless mind-battles,

over-stressed. Ungrateful.

Oblivious of all the gifts.